Staying Present: Living Your Best Life Now
The other day I went to see my naturopath. She’s awesome. A naturopath and a therapist rolled into one. She asked me how I was doing and I proceeded to tell her what was on my mind. I told her my concerns for my business, my current job, my pregnancy aspirations, my worries about fulfilling my purpose and finding contentment in life, etc. I went on and on letting it all out. When I finally took a breath she looked at me and shook her head. She told me that I need to stop living in the future. I had to take a moment to reflect on this. She was right. Since I was always worried about tomorrow, I rarely enjoy the present.
I have always been future-focused. I daydreamed like a champ. Most people think about their future goals but at some point, my obsession with the future had taken over. I realize that I've been blessed with a great life, filled with countless gifts. Yet, I found myself always chasing the next milestone, the next accomplishment, the next rush of excitement. I had conditioned myself to think about the “next thing” never taking the time to appreciate where I was. It was during a moment of reflection that I realized I had this constant feeling of lagging behind others. I married later than I initially envisioned, tried to have children at a more mature age, and launched my business later than I could have. I carried this weight of needing to catch up. However, in truth, I wasn't running late; I was simply following my own unique timeline and path. I needed to stop measuring my life against others' and embrace the beauty of my own unique journey.
Do you ever feel like this? As if you are chasing the next thing, gazing towards the future without pausing to appreciate your achievements? It's human to be future-oriented, driven by dreams and ambitions. The question is, have you moved past ambition? There are several reasons why we may be overly focused on the future.
Why Do We Keep Looking Ahead?
For me, it's a mix of age and the fear of missing out. Perhaps you resonate with that. Here are a few more:
Societal Pressure: Society often imposes timelines and expectations on individuals, pressuring them to achieve certain milestones by specific ages. This external pressure can drive people to fixate on future accomplishments to meet these “societal norms”.
Comparison Trap: Social media often showcases everyone's highlight reel, making us think our current situation isn't enough.
Unfulfilled Desires: Longing for what we don't have fuels the desire to fast-forward to a future where we do.
Perfectionism: Always striving for an ideal outcome can lead us to disregard the joys of the present.
Fear of Stagnation: Some individuals constantly focus on the future because they fear becoming stagnant or complacent. They believe that if they're not moving forward, they're falling behind, which can create a sense of restlessness.
Desire for Validation: The need for external validation is a powerful motivator.
People may obsess about the future to achieve goals that they believe will earn them recognition, approval, or praise from others, boosting their self-esteem.
If any of the above resonates with you and you feel like it's time to take a break to smell the flowers, I have listed a few suggestions on how to become more present.
Living in the Now: How to Make It a Reality
Shifting our focus from tomorrow to today takes practice. Here are a few strategies to help you start:
Set Realistic Goals: Unrealistic goals can lead to relentless pursuit and disappointment. Break down large goals into smaller, manageable steps.
Prioritize Self-Validation: Self-worth should not be solely dependent on external validation. Nurture self-compassion and self-esteem by recognizing and valuing your worth.
Challenge Societal Norms: Critically assess societal pressures and expectations. Recognize that everyone's journey is unique, and it's okay to deviate from traditional timelines and paths.
Seek Support and Perspective: Seek guidance from mentors, friends, or therapists. Sometimes, talking to someone can provide valuable insights and help shift focus away from external pressures.
Practice Gratitude: Reflect on what you have achieved and the positive aspects of your present life. This may reduce the need for constant future-oriented thinking.
Build Resilience: Life often includes setbacks and unexpected twists. Celebrate them by learning from them.
Reevaluate Priorities: Periodically reassess personal priorities and values. This can help you align your goals with what truly matters.
Focus on Personal Growth: Remember that personal growth is a lifelong journey. Celebrate small wins along the way and view life as an ongoing process rather than a race.
Seek Balance: Balance in life is essential. Allocate time for work, leisure, relationships, and self-care to prevent becoming overly future-focused.
Regular Check-Ins: Pause throughout the day to assess your level of presence. Gently bring your focus back to the current moment.
Confront Regrets: Remind yourself of the countless people who regret not living in the moment. Let their stories inspire change.
We're all guilty of looking too far ahead and missing out on the beauty of today at some point. It's time to break free from the cycle of constant anticipation and truly experience the richness of every moment. By embracing the present, we lay the foundation for a life that's not just successful, but deeply fulfilling. Let's start living – right here, right now.
